Part of me wants you in my life still and then the other part of me thinks it might be time to just move on and start new. The fact is its just not that easy. I don’t even know if you want to be in each others lives anymore and I don’t know what I want either. You’re my best friend and you know me more than anyone else and you mean the world to me. You were the first person I ever fully trusted and the first person to break down my walls. You were my first love and because of that I’ll always care about you. But in the past couple of years, you have also hurt me more than anyone ever has. We added way too many complicated strings to this friendship and now it’s all gotten into this tangled mess. We were friends, fell in love, fell out of love, stayed best friends, got together and hooked up, stopped hooking up, stopped talking, became friends again, and then hooked up again. But I would hate for something as stupid as the other night to completely ruin our friendship. You say you care about me, but if you do then don’t just push me away again. I don’t know what you’re thinking and well I don’t even know what I think. I just know that it’s really hard to just leave almost 3 years behind you and I would not want to loose someone who means so much to me. I could hate you, but instead I just don’t want to loose you.